A Happy Who Halloween
by cheri1
Summary: 10/Rose On Halloween night, the Doctor, Rose and Mickey relax at Jackie's house and enjoy dinner and some horror movies. FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Aw, come on, Doctor. It'll be fun!"

The Doctor raised his eyebrow and stared at Rose.

"Spending the night with your mum and Mickey is not my idea of fun," he replied.

"Yeah, but my mum wants us to spend Halloween night with her. She's gonna make us dinner and we'll watch some scary movies."

She grabbed the Doctor's arm and gave him her best puppy dog look

"Please…for me?" she asked sweetly.

The Doctor stared at her.

"It's not fair when you make that face," he said. "You know I can't resist it."

"I know. That's why I'm using it."

The Doctor sighed.

"Okay, as long as you are with me. That's the only way I'll be able to stand it."

"Always."

The Doctor smiled and kissed her on the lips. Rose stroked his cheek and ran off to get ready as he looked on with love in his eyes.

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"God, I'm so glad I love Rose so much cause her mum's about to drive me batty," he muttered as he sat on Jackie's couch.

He rolled his eyes as Jackie leaned out of the kitchen.

"Is pot roast okay, love?" she said.

"Yes, Jackie," the Doctor replied, trying to keep his temper after hearing her ask the same question for the 50th time. "Whatever you fix is fine. I'm not picky."

"I just want to make sure I fix something you'll eat. I don't know what aliens eat, you know."

"Okay, okay, I'll come clean. I don't eat anything except slugs, pond scum and moss from the planet Calaxia 13. Got any?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, then I guess I'll have to starve then," he said, folding his arms over his chest.

Rose appeared behind Jackie and shot him a look.

"The Doctor eats human food, mum. Just fix him the roast and potatoes and he'll be fine," she said.

Jackie let out an exasperated sigh and headed back into the kitchen.

"You're gonna drive my mum insane, you know."

"Not before she drives me insane, and she will, if she asks me again what I want to eat."

"She's just worried. She's still getting used to you being an alien. I think she's still trying to get over you regenerating too. I think she's afraid if you eat the wrong thing you'll change."

"With her cooking, I just might."

He grinned as she slapped his shoulder and went back into the kitchen.

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"So what's this movie again?" the Doctor said as Rose handed him a plate of roast, potatoes, and carrots.

"Friday the 13th Part 2. Seen it?" Rose asked.

"No, I really don't fancy horror movies. I see enough horror as it is," he said.

Mickey put in the DVD and settled in the chair beside him as the movie started. The Doctor smiled at Rose as she set beside him on the couch and Jackie sat beside her. Rose switched off the light and all of them relaxed and ate their meals while the movie played. 

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"Ever notice how humans are dumber than usual in these things?"

Everyone looked at the Doctor. He shrugged.

"Well, they are. It seems like humans lose all common sense in these movies."

"I thought you said you've never seen horror movies," Mickey challenged.

"I said I don't fancy horror movies. I have seen a few. That's why I don't fancy them. They're moronic, tasteless, and completely without merit. And…the humans run around acting dumber than usual in them."

"What do you mean dumber than usual?" Jackie said angrily.

"I mean humans as a whole do dumb things." The Doctor replied. "Don't believe me? Look at global warning, pollution, constant warfare, the Macarena…I rest my case."

Rose giggled as Jackie rolled her eyes.

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"Hey, Rose?"

Rose looked up at the Doctor.

"Yeah?"

"How come whenever you get chased by a psychopathic monster, you don't end up in your knickers?"

Rose giggled as Mickey and Jackie stared at him in shock.

"What? That's what all the girls do in these things. They run around and lose all their clothes. I've never seen Rose do that."

"Why, you want me to or somethin'?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrow.

The Doctor gave her an evil grin.

Rose grinned.

"Tell ya what? The next time we're runnin' for our lives, I'll slow down enough so you can rip my clothes off me one by one and…"

"You will not!" Jackie said shocked. "I won't have you running around some strange planet in your knickers.Do you hear me, young lady?"

"Mum, he's kiddin'"

"Just the same. You will not be takin' your clothes off on another planet because if I find out you have, they'll be Hell to pay, young lady."

"Yes, mum," Rose replied, rolling her eyes.

She glanced over at the Doctor and grinned as he nudged her side and waggled his eyebrows. Rose leaned against his shoulder as they went back to watching the movie.

"And another thing…" the Doctor added. "I've never seen Rose run for two seconds, trip, fall, run for another two seconds, trip, fall, run for another two seconds…"

Rose giggled.

"Well they do." The Doctor said, grinning. "It doesn't matter if the thing chasing them goes .002 miles per hour; they always end up killing the person because apparently when they run, there's a line of invisible banana peels in their path. From what I've seen so far, this Jason chap is dumber than a box of rocks, yet he's able to kill everyone because the humans can't stay on their bloody feet. If you did that, you would have been dead the first day!"

"Well, I'm good at avoiding the banana peels."

"Yes, you are."

Rose and the Doctor leaned in and kissed each other.

"Oi, I'm right here." Mickey said angrily.

The Doctor broke off the kiss and looked over at him.

"And so you are! Spot on, Mickey Smith. Ten points to you for identifying your location! You're a lot smarter than I thought."

"Ha, ha, that's real rich, that is." Mickey said as the Doctor and Rose giggled.

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Jackie got up and collected the empty plates.

"I'm gonna make some biscuits for us, you just keep watching the movie."

The three of them nodded and went back to the movie as Jackie carried the plates into the kitchen.

The Doctor grinned. He nudged Rose and mouthed, "Watch this." as she looked up at him. He put a finger to his lips and then put his hand down to his side. He waited a moment and then without warning, he flung his arms out of Mickey and screamed…

"BWAAAAAAAAAAA!"

He and Rose giggled as Mickey jumped in his chair and let out a high-pitched squeal.

The Doctor winked at Rose.

"Can I just say I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing his girly scream? I think it's so cute! I think when we leave here we should go back to the 18th century, rig up something that will keep his voice that high and pass him off as a castrato. He'd be a hit and we could make a fortune off of him."

"You aren't passin' me off as no castrato," Mickey said, glaring at him

"Oh, you don't even know what a castrato is."

"I do too."

"What is it then?" the Doctor challenged, looking him in the eyes.

Mickey paused as the Doctor gave him a smug grin.

"You don't know, do you?"

"Yes, I know."

"Well…what is it?"

"It's…"

"Yeah?"

"It's a…"

Mickey mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" the Doctor said, putting his hand to his ear. "I didn't quite get the ending of that."

"It's a…"

Mickey mumbled.

"What? Still couldn't get it. Speak up, man!"

"Never mind!"

"Thought so," the Doctor said, giving him a smug grin.

"Doctor, behave yourself," Jackie yelled from the kitchen.

"Yes, mum!" the Doctor yelled back.

He grinned at Rose.

"You know what a castrato is, don't you?" he asked her.

"Course I do." Rose replied.

"What is it?"

Rose glanced down at his crotch.

"A boy who's had his naughty bits cut off when he's young so he can sing like a soprano."

"Very good."

"Oi, you aren't cutting anything off so you can make me into a soprano," Mickey protested.

"We don't have to cut anything off. You're already higher than Mariah Carey. If we castrated you, you'd be a human dog whistle!" the Doctor shot back.

Mickey grumbled something under his breath as Rose and the Doctor looked at each other and snickered.

Rose leaned in.

"Well, it's nice to know you haven't been castrated,"  
she whispered.

"Oh no, my bits are still there and in perfect working order. 900 years old and I still don't need Viagra. A fact I'm very proud of, I might add."

Rose giggled as the Doctor kissed the top of her head.

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"OH NO! DON'T GO IN THERE YOU GIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TURN THE BLEEDING LIGHT ON, YOU FOOL! DO YOU WANT TO DIE? FOR PITY'S SAKE, DON'T GO INTO THAT EMPTY ROOM IN THE DARK!"

"Doctor?"

The Doctor looked at Rose.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are you doin'?"

"Talking back to the movie. Isn't that what you're supposed to do with these idiots so they don't die?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said.

"Well then…OI? DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME, YOU WANKER! YOU'RE GONNA GET KIL…oh bollocks, too late. Never mind. NOW SEE IF YOU'D LISTEN TO ME, YOU'D STILL BE BREATHING,EH? I'M THE DOCTOR AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW IT'S YOU DON'T GO IN A DARK ROOM WITHOUT A WEAPON AND STAND AROUND WITH A DUMB LOOK ON YOUR FACE SAYING "DUH" UNTIL YOU GET A KNIFE IN THE GUT! FOCUS! Oh wait, you can't focus 'cause you're DEAD! WELL, CHEERS MATE, YOU JUST RAISED THE COLLECTIVE INTELLIGENCE OF THE HUMAN GENE POOL BY OFFING YOURSELF. BRAVO!"

"Doctor, stop that bloody screaming," Jackie yelled from the kitchen.

"But you're supposed to…"

"Doctor, I think you better do what mum wants before you're the one who gets the knife in the gut," Rose said.

The Doctor sighed.

"Oh all right, I'm just trying to fit in, is all," he said.

"You wanna fit in? You can shut up for a start and let some of us watch the movie in peace," Mickey mumbled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize this movie was so riveting that you have to watch it in complete silence. A thousand pardons."

He grinned at Rose and put his finger to his lips.

"Shhhhh," he said. "We have to be quiet so Celine Dion can hear the movie."

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Well, good, considering you're five feet away from me. I'm glad you heard it. Means you aren't deaf. Now that your hearing has been checked you can get back to watching Masterpiece Theater…I mean Friday the 13th. Sorry, I get the two things confused all the timesince they are soooooo much alike."

He turned to Rose when Mickey glowered at him.

"I better shut up now before Tiny Tim goes off on me."

Rose bent over laughing as Mickey flipped him off.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"Ah yes," The Doctor said as Jackie sat the plate of chocolate chip biscuits in front of them. "Now this is what I'm talking about."

He picked up a cookie and bit into it. Rose stared at him amused as he savored the taste.

"Chocolate," he said, as he swallowed. "There's nothing like it in the universe."

"That good, eh?"

He smiled at Rose.

"Yup, it's one of best things Earth has to offer. It's one of the reasons I defend this planet day in and day out."

Rose giggled.

"So you're one of those choc-o-holics too, eh?"

"Most definitely!"

"And," he whispered to her. "Thankfully, it's one of the few things your mum can make that doesn't taste like chalk."

He winked as Rose slapped his shoulder.

The Doctor stared at the movie and rolled his eyes.

"Isn't this bloody thing over with yet?"

"Um, no, probably about another twenty minutes," Rose replied.

"Well, that's twenty minutes too long for me."

He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"What say we go for a walk, eh? Get away from Mickey and your mum for awhile?"

"Fine with me," Rose said, nodding.

She looked over at Jackie.

"Mum, the Doctor and I are gonna go for a walk."

"Take your jacket, young lady. It's freezing out."

She glared at Rose as she noticed her starting to open her mouth.

"And don't give me any of your cheek. Just do as I say."

Rose sighed. She rolled her eyes and motioned to the Doctor as they walked past her towards the door.

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"Thank God you suggested this walk. I did want to get away from them for awhile," Rose said as they walked side by side down the sidewalk.

The Doctor grinned.

"See, the Doctor always knows best," he said, poking her in the side.

Rose smiled.

The Doctor stared at her as they walked. He sighed as he watched the cool autumn breeze gently moving her hair around. Reaching out, he pulled her close and smiled down at her as she laid her head against his side.

"It's so nice to be able to have a night like this," she said quietly.

"Yup, it's nice to know the only monsters out tonight are little kids in costume," the Doctor replied. "I wish it was like that on every planet."

"Me too."

The Doctor grinned at her.

"Don't tell me you're getting tired of running for your life?"

"Oh no, I love it!" Rose said, grinning back at him. "I can't get enough of it. Running down corridors and dodging laser beams keeps me fit and trim. Forget Weight Watchers, you have the ultimate weight loss plan, you have."

The Doctor chuckled.

"I guess I do. I oughta write a book. That's one of the few things I haven't done yet. I could call it 'Trim up with the Time Lord." I could make millions."

"Not to mention all the exercise videos to go along with it."

"Hey yeah, and I could go on Oprah too."

Rose giggled.

"Oh yeah, that'd be a hoot. Seeing you jump up and down on Oprah's couch like Tom Cruise," she said.

"Nah, I'm better than that," the Doctor said, shaking his head. "Forget jumping on the couch; my way of getting attention would be for you to kill me onscreen and then I'd regenerate in front of millions. People would talk about me for years!"

Rose raised her eyebrows.

"You'd waste a life for that?"

The Doctor thought.

"No, on second thought, you're right. I don't have that many lives left as it is; it would be wasteful to off myself on national television."

He leered at her.

"I'll just strip nude and dance instead," he said, wagging his eyebrows.

Rose snorted.

"To what? Glenn Miller?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Oi! I don't just dance to Glenn Miller!" he said, offended. "I do dance to modern music as well."

"Nah, I don't think people would be interested in seein' you dance the hustle, either."

She giggled as the Doctor eyed her.

"I can see why Jackie has to keep telling you to keep your smart mouth to yourself," he said. "You have a definite problem with it."

"You love it though. It keeps things interesting for ya!"

The Doctor grinned.

"You're right. It does," he said kissing her.

They looked over as a group of kids in costume ran around the corner, stopped and looked at them.

"Evening, Kids," the Doctor said smiling at them. "Have fun trick or treating?"

"Yeah," the biggest kid said, pulling up his Dracula mask and looking at them.

He snorted as he stared at the Doctor's pinstriped suit, leather coat, and Converses.

"What are you supposed to be?" he said in a snotty voice.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"I'm an alien from outer space," he said proudly.

The kids stared at him.

"You are? Where's your alien mask then?" the big kid asked.

"I don't have an alien mask. I'm in human form."

He gestured to Rose.

"This is my human captive. I'm taking her back to my space ship so I can give her anal probes and mess with her brain so she'll be my willing slave forever."

Rose giggled as the kids looked at each other.

"Um…yeah…help me, kids. He's got me in some kind of slave beam and I can't get away," she said.

"Yeah, right…sure you are," the big kid said, rolling his eyes.

He looked at the Doctor's hands.

"Well, where's your weapon then, space man? What ya gonna use if your slave gets away from ya?"

The Doctor winked at Rose. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

"Right here."

The kids stared at it.

"What is that supposed to be?" the big kid asked.

"It's a sonic screwdriver."

"Where's your ray gun?"

"I don't need a ray gun. I have my sonic screwdriver."

The big kid snorted.

"Yeah, right."

He looked at the others.

"Come on; let's get home before the geek shoots us with his pen," he said.

"Screwdriver," the Doctor corrected.

"Whatever. Come on, guys. Forget these two wankers. Let's go home and eat our candy."

"Oi! You'll be sorry when a Slitheen jumps out at you and you don't have your sonic screwdriver to protect you!" the Doctor yelled at them.

The kids looked back at them once before heading off into the darkness towards home.

"Rose."

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"Yeah?"

"Remind me again why I can't kill these kids for calling me a geek and a wanker?"

"Because…you're a good alien and you don't do that kind of thing?"

"Yeah, that's right. Bollocks, why did I decide to be that way when I went through this last regeneration? Why can't I decide to be a homicidal lunatic who kills smart mouthed kids for a change?"

"Well, there's always next time."

The Doctor grinned.

"You're right. The next time I regenerate, I'll be ginger and homicidal! I'm gonna finally live a little in my old age! No more smart mouthed gits saying rude things to me. It'll be steel probes up the arse for everyone! That'll learn em to sass with me."

"Whatever you say, Doctor." Rose said patting his arm. "Just make sure I'm far away from you before you start cramming steel rods up people's bums."

"Oh no, miss mouth, you'll be first in line!" the Doctor said, squeezing her. "I'm gonna get back at ya for all your smart remarks."

"What 'bout Mickey, then? Wouldn't you want to start with him first?"

"Nah, first I have to find a way to temporarily close my ears off so Mickey the idiot doesn't blow my eardrums out when he starts his sonic screams."

Rose shook her head.

"You're bad, you are," she said to him.

He kissed her on the head as they resumed walking and turned the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

"Oooo," Rose said, pulling her coat tight around her body. "It's getting colder."

The Doctor pulled her closer.

"How's that?" he asked.

Rose smiled.

"Much better."

She sighed contentedly as she sensed the Doctor's beating hearts beneath his coat. The Doctor smiled and kissed her head.

"I love it when you look like that," he said.

"Like what?" Rose asked, looking up at him.

"Peaceful. You don't look that way very often and I always enjoy it seeing it," he replied.

"Well, I don't get much of a chance anymore."

"You don't have to go on doing this, Rose. You know you can quit at any time."

"I know it. I don't want to though."

"Are you sure?" the Doctor asked, frowning. "I don't want you to go on putting yourself in danger if you don't want to."

"But I do want to, Doctor," she said, stopping him. "I love being with you. It's a Hell of a lot better than livin' here, that's for sure. I've been through a lot of close calls and I admit that there are some things I've seen that I wish I hadn't, but overall I don't regret a thing."

She kissed the Doctor's cheek.

"Quit worrying about me. I'm a big girl," she said.

"I just want to keep reminding you that there's always an out," he replied.

"I know. But right now, I don't want to drop out. I'm happy where I am."

"Good. I'm glad to hear you say that."

Rose smiled and squeezed the Doctor's hand as they resumed walking. As they walked, they were oblivious to everything including the fact that someone was now following them.

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"Oooo, look."

The Doctor looked over at a graveyard beside them.

"Yeah, so?"

Rose grinned.

"It's Halloween night. Care to go for a stroll in the…"

She paused and her eyes widened.

"Graveyard?" she said melodramatically.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Makes no difference to me."

Rose's eyes widened.

"Aren't you…SCARED?"

The Doctor looked at her for a moment before bending over with laughter.

"What?" Rose asked, confused.

"I'm sorry, Rose. If you could just see yourself with your eyes wide like that. You look like a fish."

Rose folded her arms over her chest and glared at him as he continued to laugh.

"It's not that funny," she said angrily.

The Doctor looked up at her.

"Yes, it is. I know you were trying to be all melodramatic and scary, but you had your eyes opened so wide you looked just like Marty Feldman."

He snickered as he straightened up.

"Anyway…"he said, sobering up. "Yeah, we can go through the spoooooooky graveyard if you want."

Rose rolled her eyes as he waggled his fingers in her face and let out a high-pitched "Oooooooooooooooooo."

They headed inside the front gate. Suddenly, Rose let out a gasp as the Doctor grabbed her arm from behind.

"What?" she asked, looking around at him.

"Werewolf."

Rose widened her eyes and looked around, panicked.

"What? Wh…where's a werewolf?" she sputtered out.

"There."

"Where?"

The Doctor grinned as he pointed off towards the right.

"There wolf."

He pointed off to the left.

"There castle."

He bent over laughing as Rose hit him repeatedly on the back

"Oh ha, ha, that's real funny, that is!" she said.

"Oh come on, Marty, if anyone would appreciate that line, it'd be you," the Doctor replied.

"You nearly scared me half to death!" Rose spat out. "Especially since, as you may recall, we did fight a werewolf recently."

"I know, but I just couldn't resist," the Doctor replied, grinning. "I still have the image of your bulging eyes in my mind."

He lightly kicked the back of his left shin with his right foot.

"And of all the times not to have a camera with me too; damn," he sighed. "One never knows when one needs to take a funny photo of one's assistant to post on one's MySpace."

"Oh right; you have a MySpace."

"I do. It's filled with naked photos of you I took while you were in the bath."

"It better not be, buster!" Rose yelled as the Doctor snickered. "You better not be taking any bloody photos of me naked and posting them somewhere!"

"I get many hits…and many comments. They all fancy you."

"That better be a joke, by God," Rose said, shoving her finger in his face.

"Oh no. No joke. In fact, just the other day I got an email from someone called…I believe his name was Doggie Has A Bone wanting to know your phone number so he could ring you up for a bit of phone sex!."

Rose stared at him.

"You're lying. You don't know the first thing about MySpace."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and grinned.

"Oh my God…you do. GET MY PHOTOS OFF YOUR BLEEDING MYSPACE THIS INSTANT!!" she screamed.

The Doctor bent over laughing.

"It's not funny. I don't know what kind of perverted pics you got on your…"

"Rose, I'm kidding," he cut in "I just wanted to see if you would fall for it. I don't have a MySpace, honestly."

He tickled her under the chin as Rose glared at him.

"I'm flattered that you think I do though; makes me feel young."

"Well, I wouldn't put anything past you, is all."

"Even taking pictures of you in the bath?"

"Yes, even takin' pictures of me in the bath!" Rose spat out. "I like to relax and close my eyes when I'm in there. For all I know you could be sneakin' a digital camera 'round the bloody door and takin' snapshots."

"Oh, I don't have to do that," the Doctor said, nonchalantly. "All the rooms in the TARDIS are equipped with a security cam in the ceiling."

"That better be a lie."

She studied the Doctor's face trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"That's a lie, isn't it?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I've regenerated so much I've probably lost a few memories here and there. I do remember installing something in the ceilings in my fifth life. Can't think what it is for the life of me. Coulda been some cameras or coulda been a death ray for intruders. I'm old and my memories are fuzzy."

"You're gonna think they're fuzzy when I knock your block off."

"Oooooh, you wouldn't do that. You'd be stuck here on boring ol' Earth and you wouldn't want that, now would ya?"

"I'm beginning to have my doubts," Rose muttered as the Doctor giggled and led her deeper into the graveyard.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Oh yeah, this is just terrifying," the Doctor said rolling his eyes. "I can't understand why you humans get so scared about walking in between slabs of granite in the dark."

"Cause its eerie walking in the dark with a bunch of dead bodies under ya," Rose said, shrugging.

"Why? They're not gonna leap out and get anyone."

Rose looked at him and smirked.

"Oh yeah; What about, "Are you my mummy?""

"That little boy wasn't buried in the ground," the Doctor replied. "He was lying out where those nanogenes could find him."

"And that…" he added. "Was the reason he and everyone else around him became zombies. It wasn't because of some demented voodoo priest going into graveyards and raising people from the dead like you see in the movies. If the nanogenes hadn't been around, nothing would have happened."

He gestured at the ground.

"What is below our feet is nothing but decaying organic matter. There is probably one chance in a trillion that any of them are going to come back to life, pop up and come after us. We…"

He stopped abruptly. Rose turned to look at him and saw the familiar alert stance he adopted whenever he sensed trouble was near.

"What?"

The Doctor put his finger to his lips.

"I heard something behind us," he mouthed to her.

Rose stood quietly and stared at the Doctor as he listened. Suddenly, she heard the soft rustle of leaves coming from the darkness behind them. Her eyes widened.

"Doctor," she whispered.

The Doctor put his finger to his lips and shook his head. He lowered his hand and formed it into a fist.

"Back up," he mouthed to her.

"But, Doctor…" she mouthed back.

"Do it!" he whispered.

Rose slowly back up as she watched the Doctor ready himself for whatever monster was creeping up on them. She knew why he wanted her to back up. He was going into his must protect Rose at any cost mode and although she appreciated the Doctor wanting to protect her; on the other hand, she found it infuriating that he kept thinking she couldn't take care of herself especially after she had shown him over and over that she could. But, this was no time to argue since whatever was making the noise was coming up fast and so she quickly stepped behind the nearest gravestone readying herself to help the Doctor if need be.

The Doctor gritted his teeth as he turned towards the source of the noise.

"Alright," he muttered to himself as he brought his fist up. "I don't know what you are or what your plans are, but you are bloody well not going to spoil my nice evening with Rose tonight!"

He tensed as he heard the rustling stop behind the tombstone in front of him. He squeezed his fist tight and drew it back praying that he could dispatch the thing quickly before it had a chance to hurt Rose or anybody else. Drawing on senses that had been honed from centuries of battle, he waited as he allowed the creature to make the first move. He smirked as he sensed the creature rising from behind the grave and drew his fist back all the way ready to make contact with it. He hesitated a moment and then he let his fist fly

"BWAAAAAAAAA…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Mickey screamed as he jumped up from behind the gravestone right into the oncoming path of the Doctor's fist. He flinched as the fist stopped mere inches from his nose.

"MICKEY!" The Doctor bellowed angrily as his fist hung in mid air. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Um…soiling myself right about now," Mickey said eyeing the fist.

The Doctor dropped his fist to his side and glared at him as Mickey gave him a sheepish look.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing, Mickey Smith?" the Doctor said as Rose came up beside him. "I could have put my fist through your face!"

Mickey gulped.

"Well, you did it to me!" he said trying to steady his voice. "So I followed ya so I could get back at ya."

"Yeah, and you nearly ended up with a broken nose!"

"Well, I just figured since you scared me, I'd scare you back," Mickey spat out.

The Doctor let out an angry sigh

"Mickey, do you know what I do for a living?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"You…time travel."

"Uh huh, and what do I usually end up doing whenever I time travel?"

"You snog my girl?"

"I mean besides that."

Mickey stared at him in shock.

"You admit it?" he asked.

The Doctor shrugged.

"I might as well. It's not like it's a big secret anymore, is it? Now…back to my question…what else do I do when I time travel?"

The Doctor sighed as he stared at Mickey's blank look.

"I fight monsters," he said exasperated.

"Yeah…okay…you fight monsters, then. So?"

The Doctor's eyes bulged out of his head.

"So? Mickey, think about it. I've spent centuries traveling through time and most of the time when I land somewhere I invariably meet up with monsters. Most of which tend to try to hide so they can ambush me. This means that 99 percent of the time, they wait till I pass by them so they can attack me from the back."

He leaned in to Mickey's face and glared at him.

"And 99.9 percent of the time I have survived these ambushes. So, Mickey Smith, what does that tell you?"

Mickey gulped.

"That anyone who tries to jump up behind you and scare you, will end up getting knocked arse over teakettle?"

"Ding, ding, ding…thousand points to Mickey Smith!"

"Yeah, but you scared me so I'm just scaring you back," Mickey protested.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Mickey, how many monsters have you fought so far?"

"Um…those bat thingies in the school. That's it for now," he said.

"Uh huh…Well, I've fought thousands of monsters myself. This means that unlike me, you have the luxury of hearing noises behind you and not automatically thinking they're some monstrous hell spawn from deep space come to destroy you and the ones you love. When I scared you, I was sure you weren't going to freak out and start beating the bleeding crap out of me. Unfortunately, you can't say the same for me. Especially since Rose is with me. That makes me doubly on edge.

He glanced at Rose.

"And before you say anything, I know you can take care of yourself; but just the same I promised your mum I would protect you and I care about you deeply on top of it so I can't help getting overprotective at times. You mean a lot to me, you know."

Rose grinned at him and squeezed his hand.

"I know," she replied.

"So, just a word of advice Smith; next time you want to get back at me, don't do it from behind. I don't think you want the doctor bill after they finish reconstructing your nose. Got it?"

Mickey nodded.

"Good. Glad we got that settled."

He put his arm around Rose.

"Now, if you're done looking at decaying pieces of granite, I think we ought to head home."

He looked at Mickey and gestured in front of him.

"You first so I can keep an eye on you. I get enough heat from Jackie as it is without you going to hospital," he said.

Mickey let out an angry sigh and muttered as he walked in front of them. The Doctor glanced at Rose and shook his head as they followed him out of the graveyard.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"There you are. I was beginning to get worried about you," Jackie said as the three of them came in the door.

"We just went out for a quick walk, mum," Rose replied.

Jackie snorted.

"I've seen what can happen on a quick walk with the Doctor," she said.

"Jackie, I'm hurt," the Doctor said with feigned shock. "You talk about me like I'm a jinx or something."

Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Won't even be dignifying that with an answer," she muttered as she sat back down.

The Doctor winked at Rose as she shook her head.

"Well, troops, are we about ready to go?" the Doctor asked, looking at Rose and Mickey. "It's been a relaxing Halloween, but the universe needs savin'."

"Depends," Mickey muttered.

"Depends on what?" The Doctor asked.

"Depends on if you are gonna play your little practical jokes on me while we're flyin' 'round up there."

"Oh for heavens sake, Mickey; don't be a baby," the Doctor said, rolling his eyes. "I play practical jokes on Rose all the time, don't I, Rose?"

"He does. He's a right holy terror when he gets in the mood."

Mickey snorted.

"Yeah, right. He plays practical jokes on you. That's rich," he said

"He does. Like that time he swiped my lipstick and wrote chav on my forehead while I was asleep. Then sat there and didn't say a word about it until I went into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror."

The Doctor snickered.

"That was great," he said. "The scream when she saw herself in the mirror was priceless. Still, it couldn't compare to the scream she let out when I put on this old Yeti costume I made a long time ago and jumped out at her while she was rummaging around in the fridge."

"God knows why he had a Yeti costume to begin with," Rose said.

"I made it for a costume ball they were having one year on Xanthis," the Doctor replied. "It was a huge shindig too. People from all over the solar system came. Unfortunately, I took second place. Some tart dressed up as a Corlax took first place. Those Xanthidians wouldn't know a prize winning costume if it bit them in the bum. But luckily, Rose came along and I found a better, funnier use for it. So, you see, Mickey. You aren't the only one who gets teased. So quit being a wet blanket. You wanted to have some adventures, after all."

"Yeah, I wanted to have some adventures. Not get abused by you every five minutes. If you're gonna do that, I'll just stay right here."

"Um, that won't work," the Doctor said.

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm in a time machine. So, if you decide to stay here, I'll just fly the TARDIS back to this exact point in time every once in awhile, open the door, kick your bum and disappear before you can retaliate."

"Um, Doctor, if you keep flying back to this exact spot," Rose cut in "Wouldn't you meet your other selves, create a paradox, and bring the reapers back?"

The Doctor turned and stared at her.

"I have told you before that you were too mouthy for your own good, haven't I? Because I seem to recall having said that," the Doctor said as Rose giggled.

He leaned in to Mickey.

"Women. Can't keep their gums from flapping if you tried."

"Oi!" Rose said, as the Doctor snickered.

"Anyway, Smith, if you come with us, you might have to endure a few well-placed jibes at your expense just like Rose has to. But I think you'll find that it is well worth it after you see all the wonders the universe has to offer, right, Rose?" he asked, looking at her.

Rose nodded.

He leaned in to Mickey.

"Besides, it gets you away from Jackie."

"Doctor!" Jackie yelled.

The Doctor gave her a look of innocence as she glared at him.

"And on that note, I think it's time to go," the Doctor said, noticing that Jackie was on the verge of slapping his face again. "Jackie, it's been a thrill seeing you again."

Jackie snorted.

"You're just sayin' that so you don't get a smack."

The Doctor gave her a sheepish grin.

"I guess saying you look stunning tonight won't help matters much, then?"

"No, it won't."

The Doctor coughed nervously. He paused and put a hand to his ear as Jackie advanced on him.

"Oh my God, the…flux capacitor…is malfunctioning in the TARDIS. I can hear it from here. I better go fix it before my fabulous ship explodes. BYE!"

Rose giggled as the Doctor ran into the next room. Jackie sighed as she heard the TARDIS door slam.

"Don't know what you see in him," she said to Rose.

Rose smiled.

"He's fun to be around," she said, shrugging.

"Oh yeah, he's a real riot, he is," Mickey muttered as Jackie nodded in agreement.

Rose looked at him.

"Then, why do you want to come with us, then? If he irritates you that much, stay home."

Mickey glared at her.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Then, you'd get to be alone with him."

Rose said nothing.

Mickey narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah, you'd love it if I was out of the picture, wouldn't ya? Well, you ain't gonna have the opportunity to be alone with him. I'm coming just to make sure he doesn't do something to you."

Rose let out an exasperated sigh.

"Goodbye, mum," she said, giving Jackie a hug and a kiss. "I'll call when I can."

She looked at Mickey.

"Comin'?" she said coldly.

Mickey nodded and started towards the TARDIS. When his back was to her, Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head wishing he would stay home. She had a feeling it wasn't going to be much fun being around the Doctor with Mickey on board.

As they reached the TARDIS door, Mickey stepped aside and let her go through first. They entered and looked around for the Doctor.

"Doctor? We're in the TARDIS," Rose called out. "You can leave now."

Rose sighed when she didn't hear an answer from him.

"Alright, Doctor," she said, folding her arms over her chest. "My mum's not gonna come in here and get you. It's safe to come out."

They paused. Still no answer from the Doctor.

Rose shook her head.

"Now where'd the little coward get to?" she muttered, as she and Mickey walked towards the back of the control room. "I swear to God, the Doctor doesn't bat an eye at Daleks and Krillataines, but when it comes to my mum, he just turns tail and hides."

They neared an open doorway near the back; Rose getting more and more frustrated at the Doctor as she saw no sign of him.

"Doctor!" she yelled as they walked towards the open doorway. "You need to come out right now because I'm not going all over this TARDIS looking for…"

Suddenly, Mickey and Rose let out a scream as a big furry monster leapt at them from the doorway. Rose held her hand over her heart and glared at the Doctor as he removed the head from his Yeti costume.

"Yup, I'm so glad I decided to keep this old thing," he said. "I'm getting a lot of mileage out of it, turns out."

He smiled at Mickey.

"Sorry about that, Smith. But if you come with us, you have to get used to monsters jumping out at you. It's all part and parcel of traveling with a Time Lord. Just thought I'd give you a bit of practice and…"

He happened to look down at Mickey's trousers and noticed a huge wet spot around his crotch. He coughed nervously as Mickey gave him a look of death.

"Um…well, yes…bladder control is an important part of dealing with monsters too," he said sheepishly. "Can't go peeing on the surface of other people's planets. It's incredibly rude."

He let out a laugh that quickly died in the uneasy silence. He coughed.

"Well, on that note, I better get up back up into the vortex. We have places to see and work to do. Can't stand around chit chatting while universes need saving, eh?"

He quickly maneuvered around Mickey and Rose, ran over to the console, and began to input a destination as Mickey glared at him.

THE END


End file.
